I Heart Radio moments
by Korny247
Summary: Just a collection of one shots based on song I hear throughout my day. Can be used as a start of your own story if you want.
1. Suicide Note

I always knew this day would come. How could it not? No one can live without a soul after all and if your other half is gone then what exactly are you left with. I could see all my friends around me crying. I wasn't sure how to feel myself. I'm sad because she's gone. I'm mad because she left. I'm happy because now she can finally can rest and I'm confused because what are supposed to do now?

Santana sits next to me bawling her eyes out and I hold her close to me. How could I not? She is the other half of me and I could never let her go. Like Quinn. Quinn's soulmate was Rachel. And when Rachel died I could see that Quinn died with her. From the moment we found out about Rachel's death to now I've been waiting for this to happen. I knew she could never really live a full life without her. It didn't mean I wanted her to go I just knew she would.

Still it hurts to lose my best friend like that. But I could see she was suffering. She lost herself completely after Rachel. A downward spiral we were all forced to observe instead of trying to save. She drank herself to oblivion and threatened to kill herself everyday. She was irrational and moody and there was nothing we could do to bring her out of it.

I had never seen her so withdrawn until after Rachel's death. I mean she was still recovering from Beth but Rachel was healing those wounds. With the loss of Rachel I could tell she felt her life meant nothing anymore. I sometimes walked into her room and found her on her knees pleading with God to bring back Rachel. To restore her soul. To make her whole again. Sometimes I held her while she cried her eyes out. And then she just became an empty shell that was moody and irrational and silent and drunk and not my friend. She became an empty soul. So I waited. And I hoped that this would never happen but it did.

On the nights I managed to convine her to stay with me I could hear her screams. And she would scream because couldn't save Rachel. She became haunted then. Sometimes I would be haunted too just from seeing I could do on those nights was hold her. Hold her till she closed her eyes, then I would pretend to believe she went back to sleep because I wanted to sleep too.

Do I feel guilty? Of course I did.I wished I could have saved her. I knew. And I could do nothing to save she could save herself. Everyone knew but could we save her? I don't know. I wanted to see if she could save herself because I didn't know how to save her myself. I feel guilty. I know we ALL feel guilty. But I wanted to believe she could win that war in her head that I not understand. All I could do was just watch her world crumble in her hands

.

I remember her last words to me. I didn't know these would be my last words of a dying girl. But she told me "Brittney? If Santana dies you must die. And if you die Santana will die as well." When I asked why she told me were two halves of a whole and how could a half survive if the other piece was missing? It couldn't work. It would never work. I didn't realize that this was her warning me. Of what she would be doing that afternoon after she left our presence. She seemed to struggle to stay up on her feet that day. But I could not say a word about it.

I found her later that day. Her mother was passed out in the living room from her afternoon booze fest. I looked all around the house. I couldn't find her. Then I went cold as I realized. I sped out the back door and found her swinging in the breeze on a rope hanging on a tree in her back yard. Her note said. "_I couldn't be a broken half. I'm sorry. –_Quinn"

**The song this is based on is called Suicide Note by Johnette Napolitano. It's from the _Underworld_ movies so I didn't exactly hear this on the radio but _I am_ semi-obessed (read I listen to this everyday) so I'll throw it under here anyways. Btw if you couldn't catch this it's all in Brittney's POV**


	2. Top of the World

_Marcy Hammond_

She looked at her young blond daughter. God she regretted having her. She ruined her whole life and took away the only man who ever really cared for her. She couldn't get anyone because no one wanted a mother who had a young child. She wished with all her hear she never had Judy. Now she'll never be able to realize her dreams because of her spawn. She couldn't even really refer to her as her own child because she didn't love her and had never wanted her.

_ "Mama! Mama!" _screamed a young Judy Hammond _"Look what I drew! Isn't it pretty? It's a picture of you."_ Judy looked eagerly at her mother hoping that this would please her and maybe she'd get a hug or a 'good job, I love you.' She had never received either from her mother and she hoped this would get her. Whenever she went to school she'd see all the kids getting I love you's and hugs from their parents. All she wanted was the same from her mother.

Marcy looked wearily at the picture. It was a stick figure of her and Judy. It sucked. This sucked. Her whole fucking life sucked and it was all because of this child in front of her. _"Mmm"_ she grunted before she got up and walked to her bedroom. She hadn't looked back as she locked the door. Young Judy Hammond collapsed to the floor crying. Her mother didn't even love her.

_Judy Fabray_

Judy Fabray formerly known as Judy Hammond sighed as she looked into her glass of wine. She wished her life had been different. She wished a lot of things but she knew she would never get them. I mean look at her life now. Her husband had cheated on her and she kicked him out, she just got her daughter back who wasn't speaking to her and worst of all she didn't know how to express how she felt.

She had grown up without a parent's love and didn't really know what it looked like. When Russell came along she thought she loved him because he had said he loved her and that's all she had ever wanted in life. For someone to love her. And he had loved her. Till she had Quinn. Quinn was her second child and also her second daughter. She knew Russell had wanted a son to carry on the family name but after Quinn she couldn't have more children because she would die the next time. Both the first and second pregnancies had been hard and the doctors had told her the third one would be a death sentence so she had had her tubes tied. Russell was disappointed and slowly began to withdraw the once great love he had held for her. She loved her daughters. Francine and Lucy, her little angels. But after Russell had stopped loving her she had stopped loving them. Resentment began to build in her. They took away her husband's love. Why couldn't one of them have been a boy? Then Russell would still love her. She loved them. God did she love them but she didn't know how to show them and she resented them still.

Now look at her. Russell gone, her children resented her right back and she didn't have a goddamn soul that could or would love her. Is this what her life really came up to? A glass of wine in the middle of the day because no one loved her? It would seem so, because here she was in the middle of the day with a glass of wine in her hand and her youngest locked up tight in her room. Would her life ever get better? Maybe. But today was not that day. And so she drank. She lifted the wine to her lips to erase her day and to erase her life. Because her life would get better one day, but today was not the day.

_Lucy Quinn Fabray –Berry _

Lucy Quinn Fabray – Berry heaved a sigh as she sat back in the chair that she had kidnapped from her parent's house when she had first moved to New York. She might have hated a lot of things about her life in Lima but damn if this chair wasn't one of the few good things that came from her former life there.

She loved everything about her new life in New York. She loved her wife, her kids, her career, and her friends. Everything. Life in general was very good to her. She loved all these thing and most of the time she had no problems expressing it but every now and then she caught herself reverting to _Quinn Fabray_ former head Cheerio of Lima, Ohio and in those moments she had to disappear or else she'd hurt some she loved be it friend or family. She never wanted anyone in her life to ever feel hurt again by _Quinn Fabray_ former head cheerio of Lima, Ohio especially her wife or god forbid her children.

If someone had ever told her ten years ago that one day she would be married with children to one Miss Rachel Berry she might have seriously considered shooting them on top of the constant slushy shower for the rest of their high school career but here she was ten years in the future married to her former nemesis and loving every minute of it. Sure sometimes when she was in her _Quinn Fabray _mode she wanted to tear Rachel apart but most of the time she just loved her to pieces.

Rachel had saved her plain and simple. She was so convinced she was worthless and never meant to be loved and after Beth really couldn't see the point of continuing but Rachel Berry had seen her and had held her when her breakdown had finally come and she made Quinn finally believe in herself because she finally had someone show her love and who cared for her deeply. And slowly but surely she healed. Everything that she had held inside her was released and she built herself back up. And on the day she finally felt complete she had proposed to one Miss Rachel Berry because this woman who had saved her and made her happy and by god she would do everything in her power to keep it that way as long as possible. And ever since then she had never looked back.

There was one day. A few months after her first child with Rachel she received a call from her mother. Her mother had heard about her latest grandchild and this time she wanted to be there for her family and would Quinn let her in her life and that of her grandchild? And Quinn thought about it. Now that she had her own love she could see that her parent's marriage had been loveless and maybe she could love her mother and let her mother love her grandchild so this woman could finally be happy. So she yes.

Her mother came to New York and they talked. They talked about how her mother's mother had never loved her, how Judy had always loved her daughters but how after Quinn had been born and Russell stopped loving her she stopped showing her love to them because she resented them as she felt they had been the cause of Russell retraction of his love and how after she had kicked Russell out how she knew she wasn't really prepared to deal with Quinn but she wanted her back anyhow even if she would drown her sorrows and everyday with liquor. After all that Quinn forgave her mother and reflected on herself. And she thanked God everyday that she had let one Miss Rachel Berry into her life so she could love and be loved.

The radio clicked on and she heard the opening strains of mandolins and she smiled as that particular song came on as she thought about her life. Rachel was her little song bird and she would damned if she didn't let her fly to the top of the world.

**A/N :I had another story in this collection called Iris but I took it down because it _really_ sucked so don't worry if you don't see it. thanks again.**


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